8 Steps & Only 8 Texts To Make Him Run a Mile!

I know you’re thinking of having one of those psycho chick outbursts, or you have unfortunately already had one, if not you wouldn’t be reading this. We don’t help ourselves; in this ear of mobile phones, internet & social media it is pretty damn hard to get someone of your mind and even harder when you can tell they have blatantly ignored you! Okay you sent a text and didn’t get a reply, that’s fine, you can calm your sh*t down! But wait, what is this?! He can’t reply with a simple “I’m busy” but has time to post a life-story-of-a-facebook-update on how bored he is. Well “naaaaaahhh” you can’t be having any of that. Well chill. Recognise the crazy bitch is coming before she gets there because once she has taken over you I can promise you will only be left feeling regretful.

Stage 1. Oh okay, I just got ignored there, should I send another?  NO PLEASE DON’T SEND ANOTHER.

Stage 2. Look at all the F*CKS I give, does it look like I care?!!@@ Unfortunately honey, yes, yes you do!

Stage 3. I’m never speaking to him again! There goes his number!!@ Bye, Bye!!!

Stage 4. What if he has been in an accident… He could be hurt, or worse… Starting to panic now?

Stage 5. OH HELL NO BITCH! His Whatsapp says he was a live 13 minutes ago!@@@@@

Stage 6. The psychotic breakdown…

Stage 7. You get angry, not just a little angry, but a lot angry…

Stage 8. Being angry isn’t enough, you’re going to tell him exactly what it is you think of him! At this point it’s best if everyone just stays out of your way! Ooops

So i tested all of these out. Yes loyal readers, that’s right I made someone think I am a total loon just for you guys! Just to see if there was any salvaging yourself from the wreckage, but the truth is once he labels you a nutter the chances are he will always just be waiting for you to break even if he he does talk to you again…

First thing is first m’dears, calm the F down. Mrs “Queen of over reactions” has struck and made you appear all psycho chick (which by the way you totally are) but can you save?! Here is what I have learned:

This next part all depends on your level of crazy, testing this out it took me 3 attempts to really make it an unbearable wreck of crazy that nobody wants to succumb to ever again. I should probably tell you a little bit more about ‘Mr S’ I didn’t go crazy on a total stranger, Mr S is/was my ‘it’s-only-lust’ booty call. It was really intense and we had some pretty great sex but it was purely physical and when the flame started to die out as with every solely based sex relationship I thought he would be the perfect test subject for this, no one gets hurt, no one loses out.

The first level of crazy; he just ignored one text, okay being ignored is never nice, especially when all I wanted was to get him over and in my bed, but I decided to go stage 1,2,5 & 7. I sent another, then another and then went into a big rant of how he is not worth my time, I’m not having him ignore me when he doesn’t want sex and a simple no would suffice and it took about 2 days and he was all up for it again.

The second level of crazy. At this point we had slept together maybe 2 or 3 more times and I’m getting to the stage where although the sex is good it’s not fun and exciting anymore so we need to bump up the crazy and see if I can find out how much crazy it takes to get a man to give up. I went pretty extreme, did most of the 8 stages and the texts became essays and I even went so far as to tell him I was actually crazy. However again within a week he was up for being in my bed. I am adamant at this point that there is a level of crazy that he must draw the line at!!

My third and final level of crazy. Only for Mr S. Because we were all about sex that probably had a rather high reason why he didn’t bail at the second level of crazy, men are sex mad (I am too but that’s another story)! But nothing drives a man away more than a clingy, crazy, needy woman who changes her mind quicker than you can say psycho chick. I went full blown out of this world crazy on his ass!! I told him I couldn’t sleep with him again. I then decided to rage at him for ignoring me, then though maybe I should change my mind, and I told him I liked him way more than I should (considering I hardly know the guy this is a big NO) and to top it all of I changed my mind again and then apologized and then got angry. I probably should mention I even chucked a crazy chick phone call in there to sweeten the deal (surprise, surprise that call got rejected). That my lovelies is how you get him to leave you the hell alone and be labelled a psycho chick by someone, okay I admit this was a week ago but I can’t see myself (thank god) hearing from Mr S again and if I do that says more about him than it does me. but just in case you guys aren’t experimenting and do want to hear from your ‘Mr s’ here’s how…

Start by don’t text him again… even to apologize, if he wants to talk to you he will but you can’t force it! Don’t be creeping through his instagram pics thinking ‘who the hell is that hoe’ NO! Get him off your mind. Go ahead and sulk for a minute then once you have rationalized all your thoughts realize the only thing to do is leave it!

Sex, Lies and One Night Stands

There’s only so much skill required into charming and duping a women to have sex with you, but what men don’t realize is sometimes all the women may want is sex! No, this does not make her a whore, she may like having her hair pulled, being spanked and talking dirty but it makes her AWESOME! Women have “needs” too! And a bit of fun never hurt anybody.

Women have “needs” too!

But what happens when you talk dirty to a guy but want it to go no further? when you’re in a relationship but have some fun on the side? How do you get rid of the one night stand you just don’t want to see anymore? Did you get drunk and never want to hear from him again? Okay it can be awkward, but here is four simple things you can do to get him to leave you alone!

• The shameful morning after. – (assuming numbers were exchanged) text him letting him know what an idiot you have been, apologize for embarrassing yourself! he may be sitting there thinking it was fun but you have then got him thinking about what an idiot you really were, he will think of the flaws and start to cringe

• Bad Sex – okay don’t be to harsh but don’t let him think it was amazing, tell him he can do better or it was “meh” or simply just ask if that was it? He will make an excuse for it not being all it was made up to be but that’s men, thinking they can always do it better!

• Make him think you’re in it 100% – Okay men like the chase but what if you give him nothing to chase? tell him you want him over again, make him think you want it to go somewhere… if he doesn’t answer your calls or your text straight away get up in his grill about it. I’m not saying go all crazy bitch on his ass but I’m saying put some subtle desperation in there, the sex appeal will fly right out of the window and to another planet…

• Give up – by now he must be having second thoughts, the man doesn’t want a needy, clingy woman who thinks he’s not all that in the bedroom, tell him you’re giving up on the both of you, he will be greatful and you dont have to hear from him ever again!